I spent a half hour in the shower
Coming up with my suicide note
I’d post it to every platform
Before going home
Caught up in my dream
Of being better than I have been
While knowing that in your mind
I could be anything
I fear I’m a disgusting fraud
I’ll never overcome my flaws
I can be written off as a loss
No, there is no romance
In being 30 and depressed
Embarrassed looking back at every failed attempt
To be
Anything more
Than another desperate ring
On the cell phone of God
Answering nobody
Oversaturation
Leading to another new sensation
Of pain that will lead
Into psychosis
I fear it’ll always come to this
A new self-destructive bliss
Absolving my responsibilities to you
I am a second away from death
I can feel it in my fingertips
I can touch the bloodshot eyes of the other side
Hold up your worst great unknowns
I will not die again
Hold up your worst great unknowns
I will not fall for it again
Hold your greatest flaws close
I will never blame them on you
That’s a thing this awful world would do
I will never blame it on you
The horrors of this world are true
There’s often very little we can do
But I will never blame it on you
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